Teen Completely Surprised at His Acute Popularity

17-year old Mark Bower received quite a shock on Monday, when he discovered in the new school yearbook that he had been voted as the ‘Most Popular’ boy in school. Mark, a junior who attends Tumbleweed High School in San Diego, CA, says that this news was particularly shocking because he often felt himself to be rather dull. “I mean, sure, people have a tendency to say hello to me in the hallways, and they always ask me to sit at their lunch tables, but I always assumed that they wanted to get me to like them so they could get some of the liquor I swipe from my parents liquor cabinet.” Most of Marks classmates describe Mark as an easy-going guy with a flair for board shorts, Taco Bell, and Bob Marley. English Literature classmate Stephanie Kramer, who sits behind Mark, tells about the many days spent behind Mark in class, daydreaming about the day that he will turn around, and ask her what day it is. “Is there nothing more romantic than when an adolescent boy asks you what answer you got for question six? Or when he says, ‘they gave me your paper by mistake’? A girl can only dream…” Even some of Marks teachers have developed a keen liking for the boy who up until this week considered himself a ‘band geek’ (even though he doesn’t play an instrument). 5^th period Physical Education teacher Scott Pajunen says of Mark, “He was always a very considerate guy. He wouldn’t think anything of letting you go ahead of him in line for the water fountain, or sacrificing himself in Prison ball in order to save the captain. He was also very social and could often be found in the middle of a gang of cheerleaders, varsity football jocks, and an occasional office administrator. He even went out of his way a few times to keep me company while I locked up the storage closet.” Mark plans to parlay this new knowledge of his popularity into ‘getting girl’s numbers’, ‘skipping first period’, and possibly running for class president so they can have a slip-and-slide for Spring Fling. “How awesome would that be?” he asked while giving a freshman a wedgie.