Thursday, December 6, 2007

Long Island Native Still Wearing Shorts Despite the Cold

Regardless of the two feet of snow that blankets the ground outside his half of the duplex, East Meadow native Thomas Sheppard has made the decision to continue wearing his favorite pairs of shorts. “I’m not worried about the cold”, he said while reclining on his IKEA futon, “I was in the Marines, this sort of stuff doesn’t affect me like it does other people”. Sheppard, who works from home as an online tutor, says that while his electric bill may go up due to the constant heater usage, the pros far outweigh the cons. “So I have to pay a little more a month because I keep my house at a balmy 72 degrees, but who else can say that they get use out of their Brookstone ‘Cool It!’ personal hand-held fan year round?” While Thomas may be confident in his decision to continue his shorts-usage, his friends think he’s absolutely crazy. Drew Peterson, who served in the Marines with Thomas, thinks that Thomas’ mind may be showing signs of fatigue. “Yes, we were in the Marines, and yes, we’re a little less prone to being affected by the elements, but we’ve been out of the military for 15 years. We’re not as young and able as we were back then. Just the other day I caught him about to wash his car while it was snowing, and the only way I managed to keep him from catching hypothermia was by telling him that there was a Marine Corp special showing on the History channel.” Thomas dismisses his friends and families concerns but does appreciate their thoughts. “For the last 6 years the only time I ever heard from my family was on the holidays, now they call me a few times a day.” The National Weather Service has issued a Blizzard Warning for the greater New York state area, but still Thomas hasn’t begun to pack up his summer shorts. “Why would I pack everything away when I’m just going to have to unpack them in a few months anways?”

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